Once upon a time, a girl was born. She was called Stefira.
She was sent to Earth to fall in love with Leo DiCaprio on 04051992
Some say she's scary but she wants everyone to know that she's just your average teenage girl.
She reads. A lot. Therefore, reading is cool.
She is married to David Archuleta, Leo, Edward, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds and more. Ha!
She dislikes Farah's pet sheep//cat because she thinks that the pet is such a snob.
All information was correct at time of press.

♥ Hey Stephen, Stefira!

I know looks can be deceiving,
but I know I saw a light in you
but i know you SEE a light in ME.

This blogskin is made not only by me but it is made with some help/resources.

Basecodes | Images & Background
Copyright S.R★ Productions.
© SpoiltRADI.O★™

Hey, you, Merry Christmas yeah ?

You have absolutely no idea how to communicate, i hope you learn.

Kelantan, here i come =.= wish me luck yo.

'Life's tough; get a helmet'.

Btw, thank you the very the much , Farah the Amira for doing my blogskin TWICE ! Hey, that's what sisters are for :) I'm Buffy-approved :P I like your whole description of me too, VERY ACCURATE i must say, at time of press la. :)

and happy birthday to my mother yang VERY YOUNG LAH SANGAT :)

and Iman, Frann, Kee, Garry, ADAM and ADAM IZZY and Nas, in advance :D

and i realise sme people are just born natural cowards.

and i realise that i realise a lot nowadays.

and i've been chanelling punkness and Kristen Stewart/Bella lately ;) tak perasan pon till Aisya said. But i like :)

and Naim, thanks for making both of us happy. I'm not gonna say anything nice to you though. Still wanna crucify you.

and I realise that we really shouldn't take things for granted. Although, in my opinion, that is something a LOT of people don't understand. I do, always have. :D

'If you can't be with the person you love, love the person you're with'.
THAT is exactly what i'm doing :)

Bella Swan : I'm not like a car you can fix. I'll never run right, so I should be honest with you from now.

So do I, Bella, so do I.

I have NOT mentioned how THRILLED i am that school's over yo ! I'm leaving it all behindddd me. Never turning back. I mean, trust me, i'm one of those people who actually like school, but you know lah, penat lahhhh. Life's super super great now :D I love rubbing it in with Form 4 people about finishing high school. It feels SO strange though. I was talking to Aimi that day on Facebook, she said something about we can't see each otehr at school and iI told her it's okay cos I would visit. Then, I realised I can't believe I'm saying that ! All this while, it was always Naim or some ex-Form 5 saying that. Now it's my turn. I can't say I like that, but the cycle rolls on. Me and my Form 4 dudettes went through PMR and SPM together ! :) such amazing memories. I remember being online the day before PMR and Xia was like; isn't it PMR tomorrow ? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ONLINE ?! hahaha. Brain jammm. Well,must say NOW, in advance that SPM sucked my guts out. It was horrible for me. I mean, i ain't expecting any As pon to be honest. There's sure to be some Gs =.= Oh well. I told you first.




Jumpa Naim on the 10th hari tuh ! Banyak hutang dengan aku an :P Still cookies though. Bring me to the rooftop la penat =.= Perangai langsung tak ubah, annoying teramat terlebih.

Had our class party on the 15th hari tu :) Was awesome, to me, that is. I mean, we conquered the whole row in Pizza Hut at Pavilion. Must have been like 20-something people. And boy were we noisy. I swear there was this woman who got real ticked, hey, tough luck yo :P NEVER COME NEAR PEOPLE WHO TAMATED SPM, be warned. We all ate and chatted a lot to ctach up with the new stuff. Some people started working. I'm just glad to know most of them are lazing their asses off, LIKE ME :) Hey, finishing high school is the time to do what I do best ; sit down and never get up ! :D Then, we all parted la. Everyone went separate ways. Went to watch Zombieland with Fran, Rupinder, Syams and Krishna on Aisya's recommendation saying : Zombieland is SO funny, go watch ! =.= BANYAKLA. It was funnily gross kayh. It was like guts all over. I must have jumped out of my seat a few times, tanya Fran. After that, met Arda along with Aisya and Akido :) Walked around with them sisters japp, got obsessed on nail polish. Aisya bajet environmentalist kejap that day.



Went to visit my keluarga angkat on 16th that day. Haven't seen Aunty Naa in ages :) Ajim and his pooooooor thumb, moping away, drama king :P you can beat me at dramticness, dude.
Had a great time catching up with gossip, dudette :D

Then, met Farah and Arda at Pavi to search for Farah's bag :) She surveyed throughhh. Well,a lot of things were said, but I can't recallnow. I just remember Arda thinking she's Zooey Deschanel =.= sumpah FATIGUED dowh. Kan dah.


THEN, met Syawal, Iman, Janice and Chow at Pavi AGAIN. Haven't met them in ages ! Miss them weyh. Hung out the whole day, was wonderful, really. Btw, people, stay away from Chow if talking about the topic of kissing =.= I am officially traumatized and me and Iman have concluded that Chow is indeed extremely virginal =.= No, it isn't a good thing SANGAT actually. Your question was hilarious, wil TUMBLR it :) Oh yeah, I have tumblr now btw. Arda made me. http://heystefira.tumblr.com/ go see yeah ? :) To me, my tumblr is more personal than myblog for some odd reason. More of what i FEEL is there, not here. Arda got me addicted to nail polish =.= masalah But i like and i love her :) Aisya too :) :)



Yesterday, went on an around KL trip with Jo, Adam and Danial :) DARN TIRING I'm like super tan now =.= penat. It's kayh lah. Went to KL Tower, Perpustakaan KL which I neve knew existed pon and all thos tourist places by FOOT only yo. Who says Stefira Marzuki malas again ha ?! I walked the whole distance. Must've been nuts :) All for Jo's conceptual shot of KL. HAd fun thoughh. Happy birthdayy, Adam :) you're TOTALLLLLLY annoying like heck. Heee.

So, possibly 23rd is my primary school reunion. IF it does happen, i'm nervous like crap. DON'T ASK. Embarrassing. Ugh. But i'm darn excited too :D Haven't met them in years, God knows how it would turn out.

Arda and Aisya are supposed to be coming over the day after possibly. For a GIRLS' TIME. Yeah, i'm a GIRL, Naim =.= you sengal ass. I didn't know you were a guy too :P

Goin' Kelantan from 26th to 28th. LORD HELP ME ! I'll be Chinese-fied =.= My mum will be my free translator. Thank God i've lotsa books to read.

Oh well. Me and Arda have so many similar goals, you know what they are, girl. Let's piss those stupid GUYS off eh ?! :D GO US ! :) :)

Sumpah my kaki cam dah kurus, Jo :)

Chow : Do you ask a girl when you want to kiss them, like; can i kiss you now ?'
Me and Iman : HAHAHHAHAHHAHHA ! :)

YEah, Chow, i'd rather die than praise you :P

Okay, we all know I haven't blogged in YEARS, but let's hope I could get back into the swing of it. This post is one post EVERYONE can just skip, seriously because it's gonna be one whole bloody LONGGGGG rant. Read if you care, skip if you don't. I just want to let it out, please. That's all. Btw, yeah, it's REALLY CORNY, so yeah. I warned you :D

This is based upon a true story.

Your cliched story. There was a boy and a girl. Boy meets girl. Girl sits next to boy in class. They started as friends. She never saw him as anything else, neither did he. Somehow, someway, girl likes boy, boy likes girl. What triggered her liking for him was so simple, but he didn't know it back then. It was just a SLIGHT liking, she remembers. Nothing important or earth-shattering, sort of a fondness, not even a crush.

Time went on. Her birthday came. He was the first to text her. She LITERALLY nearly fell of her chair because she knows he doesn't have her number, so he must have asked someone for it which means he cares somewhat about her. She was so excited, hyper even. She never deleted it. She knows it means nothing, he was just being thoughtful, but you know girls :D

Days came and passed. Their form had a drama competition going on, their class were involved too. Their class did a Bridge to Terabithia adaptation. Everyone worked hard for it. Technically, she was director and he was in the play. She had to order him to do this and that. Once in a while, she worried about whether her bossing around would cause him to hate her, but she realises someone's gotta do it. Even though their class wasn't the winner, she considers it one of her greatest achievements because she loved doing the drama with them. She won't forget that experience. It felt as if they won anyway. Before the stage curtains opened, she saw him sitting on a nearby table, looking nervous and reciting his lines under his breath. Her friend told her to go calm him down. She wasn't sure whether she should, but she did anyway. She was so scared she might say something wrong, but she tried her best. The play went smoothly and was unforgettable for her.

Days went on, people told her that there's a possibility he likes her, but every single time she brushes it off as ridiculous. She knows he can get any girl he wanted, why would it be her ? She's just an ordinary girl, nothing outstanding. In a weird way, she hopes her liking for him was one-sided. She tells her best friend that her heart beats so fast that it hurts when he does something sweet for her. To her, the little things matter most, he picked a flower on the way to school and gave it to her one morning, he made her a honey and lemon drink when she had a sore throat and all those things, she chose to see it as things he does because he's that kind of guy; nice and sweet. Nothing more. Any slight difference in him she would notice and vice versa. They were so detailed about each other. He could tell the way she TYPES, he could tell the way he talks when he's upset.

Until one day, when he put her hand on hers did it cross her mind there might be something else going on, something more. Again, she ignored it and pretended it never happened. In her mind, she never realised that she was already in love with him, still thinking it was just one of those unrequited schoolgirl crushes. She only realised she cared for him so much when she was at tuition, during EST class, she wasn't paying attention, dreaming away. Her hand was scribbling names all over her notes. When she came to, she saw that she wrote his name all along the margin of her notes. She knows herself well enough that she NEVER writes names of guys while doodling. She was surprised with herself. When she thought long and hard about it, she realises that she would do anything for him, regardless. She is ready for her feelings to be unreciprocated because of tehir difference. She still thought it was just a fullblown crush, an infatuation, no big deal.

Time went on, and somehow they became 'togetherly' but without the actual status. The whole corny mush ensues, or even WORSE than corny, if that's possible ( I can imagine Arda's face if she reads this :D). The whole la-di-dah of holding hands under the table, serenading her, being at his basketball games, and whatnot, but within all this time, neither ever said anything about what they felt about each other, nor did they feel awkward that they were very 'together' in a way that was already beyond friends. People were always asking about the nature of their relationship, she has always insisted it was just friendship, he says he doesn't know.

This went on for quite a while. It was like a wonderful dream to her. He was everything she wanted and she has kinda high conditions :) But she also knew there was a difference between them that would eventually pull them apart. She chose to ignore it and go with the flow. She never thought he would want to be more than friends until that fateful day when he texted her at tuition saying he was crazy about a girl. She wasn't surprised. However, she felt kind of in-between. She wished that the girl he likes is her, but at the same time, wasn't. She knew if anything happened between them, it wasn't gonna get anywhere. She told him to confess to her, tell her how he truly felt. So he did. It was her. He likes her. She couldn't concentrate for the rest of the day, little did she know, for the rest of her coming life too. The sudden happiness was exhilarating like an adrenaline rush. It was mind-numbing. Whatever her tuition teacher taught for the next one hour and a half just flew by. She replied saying she needed time, then they went on texting throughout the day as usual, like they always have for the past few months.

The next day, she met him in class. They didn't speak much during class, less than normal. She didn't think anything was wrong. During Maths class, she didn't bring her textbook, she asked to share it, he put it in the middle without even looking at her, very coldly, you could say. She felt that it was off putting. She didn't mention it though. As the day went on, subject after boring subject, he never once looked at her nor said anything to her, he avoided her totally. She wonders why that was. She asked her friend about it. Her friend says it's probably because he told her about his feelings whereas she didn't and now he's embarrassed and awkward about it. So in Chemistry class, the last class of the day, she told him that she actually feels torn, she's worried it wouldn't work out, that it would destroy their friendship, how she doesn't want a fling, an unimportant relationship. He said how would she know it wouldn't work out and that was when she realised what he said is true. Back then, she put all her faith in him, now she knows better, she should have trusted her first instincts, she could have saved herself, she wouldn't have been hurt and broken. In the end, she said yes. The first smile he gave her was a nervous one initially, but then it became his happiest smile. He looked as if nothing made him happier except her. She was thrilled to be with someone she cares about.

Later, she realised that back in that freezing EST classroom that she already loves him, regardless whether he asked to be more than friends or not. They had a great time together, truly. Nothing made her happier than him. He never understood that the only person that makes you the happiest has the power to make you the saddest as well. That's love, see, giving someone the power to break your heart but trusting them not to. In the end of all this, she was betrayed of this trust. Ever since that day, everything went on like a dream or like a fantasy movie. He was everything she wanted in a guy. Funny, smart, tall, the whole knight in shining armour deal. The butterflies, the stomach flips, the fast heartbeats, the nervousness she felt around him never went away even after months together. He serenaded her, treated her like a true queen as he once promised her, told her corny lines, was there for her when she needed him, the late night talks, he looked for her when he needs comforting, support and she was always there, undyingly devoted. ; it's true what they say, when in love, you feel the world is yours, that was how she felt, hopefully he did too. She thought she was loved, really. His friends treated her as one of them, she never felt awkward among his friends, nor him among hers.

Early in the next year, he told her to study hard to get good grades for their major exams so they could possibly attend the same college, and stay together. It seemed to her that he was going to see how far they could go too. She felt secure. Later on, he brought up another issue, their inevitable difference. There was no going around it and it was out of his ability to ignore it any longer. He felt guilty for being with her. At school, he broke up with her. She faked a sickness that day to cover up her puffy teary eyes. That same day, he reversed things, he said it was hard for him as well. They were together for another 2 weeks, before he put her through her own version of hell; a real break up. This time it's final with no turning back on their fifth month together, exact date. It was one of her biggest fears, what he did. Luckily, that day, her best friend was there.

Month after month went on, they were never really, truly severed from each other, sometimes he broke down, sometimes her. Things became different, worse than people thought it really was. She felt played out and she told him so, he vehemently denied. She felt tricked. There were many other things that she thought and felt that he never knew about. She refused to regret anything that has happened, so she took them as lessons she will be smart enough not to repeat ever.

She felt like he underestimated her, like she wasn't good enough for him, like she was stupid, like she was a plaything. He kept on changing his mind about whether he loved her or not, she got tired of it. He was confused with himself and his wants, he dragged her down with his constant indecisions and back and forth. She couldn't believe he was the same person she was in love with. She was so hurt. She has lost important people in her life before and she knows herself well enough to know that, she doesn't deal well with loss. She knew he would be one of those people that changed her, she can only pray that it was for the better. He told her he felt that they were too young. She was never one to believe in this too young thing, because who's to say at what age you can love ? To love is human. To eat is human too. No one ever told you you can only eat when you're THIRTY. There were many things he didn't understand about her, though.

They continued being friends and fighting in a constant cycle without a particular stop. Most of the fights consisting of how he blames her saying she couldn't forget the past and get over it, while she feels that he's a heartless idiot for forgetting everything so easily. She thinks he must either be a brilliant actor, a person with absolutely no memory capacity or a heartless God-forsaken child that never grew up. There was a lot of things said between them that she knows is irreversible and hurtful to the point of no cure, but it needed saying. She finally realises that he has some growing up to do, maturing. He knows it too, even if he doesn't admit it all the time. He blames her for expecting too much of him, when in actuality she just trusts him too much. She puts him before herself, that was how important he is to her. She always made sure to tell him how he meant to her because she was paranoid of death. She wants him to know all the time, she never hid anything.

She never knew until the day he left her that pain was actually paralysing. You just feel numb and blur. Everything just goes on like normal, and you feel stuck in your own timeline. SHe was even suicidal, even though no one knew about that. She felt so helpless. She took that chance of being with him even though she saw the break up coming because she thought she could handle it, she thought she was strong enough, clearly; she overestimated herself.

Finally, after one final blow-up which was caused by a misunderstanding, they ended it. Their friendship was over, no contact whatsoever. The turmoil in her mind and heart was something she knew no one could ever understand. Maybe she was too sensitive, maybe she took things too seriously. But at least she was sincere to him. She was the kind of girl that everyone thought was difficult and hard-headed, intimidating, they never knew how she was with him. Before he came along, she believed and trusted in no one but herself and her mother, she believed that no one should have the power to make you happy because what would happen if you lost that person ? Would you be sad all your life ? She knew it was stupid to depend on people, she's been let down so many times before, she vowed she wouldn' repeat it. But she gave him that chance, she opened up, she told him things no one else knew. She had faith. They've tried for so long and for so many times to remain friends, but he seems to think it wasn't meant to be. She however, thinks that if you don't work for it, how the heck would it happen ? She tried to be perfect for him, everything he wanted her to be. She did everything she could think of to make him happy, to make him stay. It was all for nothing. Before him, she never tries to be perfect for someone, EVER. She doesn't believe in all that. She thinks that she was okay the way she is. In other words, her friend once said, she had a ginormous ego too. She believes in herself, knows her worth, knows what she's capable of. She always stood her ground, had many unswayable opinions and ideas about everything. When she knew him, she changed. She let her guard down, her principles rearranged.

It happened anyway. After years of protecting herself, her heart, for so long, the first time she opens up, it gets walked on. She can only hope and pray that she has enough courage to love again, to trust again. She knew this was life-changing. She did everything she could to distract herself, occupy herself, she continued her obsessions to refrain thinking about him. He became someone she didn't know.

After all this time, throughout the whole infinite silence between them, she remembers him. She alternates between anger and hurt all the time, endless circles. There is nothing she sees, hears, smells, touches, tastes that doesn't remind her of him. She remembers everything. She wishes she could be like him, so unfeeling and uncaring about it. Why should she care if he doesn't ? She has become a slight cynic, sadly. She used to go 'awwwh' at every romantic scene in movies and books, but now when she sees or reads it, she hardly believes anything they say because what is said when in love is totally forgotten during fights. Sad, really. She believes in fairytales, the whole ideal. It's true what he said ; they weren't meant to be and he wasn't the one. She knows that since before, but that doesn't change her love. She's stuck in between. She hates him for everything he's ever done, every single syllable he's uttered that hurt her, the hurt felt like a wound doused in vinegar. It stings and unforgettable. Despite all that, she knew, she knows her feelings for him. He didn't. She prays she will heal. Funny thing about all this is that she learned something she already knew; never give your all unless you're sure you could get it back. She didn't. Throughout her life, she will remember him as the guy she fell in love with, not the guy he became. She wishes the best for him, good luck with everything he does. She hopes he succeeds in life. She hopes he finds someone who suits him better than she did and loves him more than she did.

She is me.

( Jo; this is most likely my How I became a Cynic story)

Yeah, okayh, I knw like dah centuries I haven't updated, but that is for a solid, GOOD reason which is uhh, I'm malas like an ass ? No, wait, that's stubborn as an ass, which I am too, hee. Anyway, as Tim puts it ; malas like a Stef =.= Sometimes I wonder if that's a compliment or an insult, still haven't figured that out yet. Once I know, Tim won't be so alive kot *suspicious thinking*.

So, anyway, I freaked Clement out like heck early this month cos I started studying, then he started calling me Sejarah Queen which is DUMB, jsyk cos I don't think I got an A1 (as usual). Ugh.

My birthdayyyyyyyyyyy was WOW ! WOW ! WOW ! I mean, I am only seventeen ONCE (and forever pulak tuh ;p) Heee. My gosh, I think Afiq was the earliest to wish me, then a whole bunch of people, I don't think I slept kot ? Then, Tim called like at 11.46pm, terlebih early. Then he texted at midnight. Haha, Xin Yi fell asleep ! Anyway, thanks so so so much for everyone's wishes okaay ? I'm surprised at every single text I got, seriously. I'm surprised KARIN remembered =.= She doesn't even remember where Milan is ! It's in Italy kan ? When I went to school which I was LATE for, went up, found the last door locked, got really annoyed wondering why the heck did Xin Yi go and lock the back door, then went to the second door, whaddya know ? It's locked too, now I'm bengangfied with Fran for making me walk FURTHER than I have to, though technically it's the same distance in/outside the class =.=, but still ! When I wanted to go in through the front door, Jo came out with this smile that was too wide, along with Serene. She hugged me and didn't let me in. I was like 'Weyh, I wanna put my stuff lah'. She said cannot. Then the back door opened and like a whole bunch of guys, most of the basketball team, I think, meaning most Chinese lah, heee, they sang the happy birthday song for me =) Was so so so sweet. I don't really remember who was there, I ingat Tim, Karthi, Nick, Patrick, Kee, D, Francis, Xin Yi, Jun Jie and a whole bunch of peopleee, like woah. Xin Yi said the Chinese version of Westlife sang for me =.= perasan ! Was so niceeee. And I thought that was the end of that.

After Perhimpunan, D and me were talking all the way to canteen, I wanted to get some breakfast, but ended up with nothing, so we went up. I found out later that D was supposed to divert me, but didn't really work huh ? =) The back door was closed again with a note saying 'Please go front' in black letters, I was like okaaaaay, went to Fran's door (she sits near the door la) it had a note saying 'Be ready'. Yeah, I was ready to smack whoever shut the doors on me twice today, really ! Went to the front door and I had to wait, they won't let me in. Adam and Karthi high-fived me SEVENTEEN times ! =D Adam yelled his signature greeting to me =.= Penat tau. When I went in, my classmates were all there, along with some others. And on Aisya's table which was next to mine, there was a FREAKING CAKE !! With lighted candles ! I'm so excited about the candles because I honestly don't remember the last time I saw lighted candles or candles even, on MY cake ;p Presents were surrounding the cake =D The message on the ckae was 'Happy seventeenth birthday, Stef ! From David and Charlie'. Tim, I bet the cake girl thought you were David or Charlie =.= Thanks so much okayh ? =DD You forgot the love of my life, Edward Cullen though ! Heee. The presents I got were WOAH. I like them all, really. Got three teddies this year for some funny reason. Thanks, guys ! You're too generous lahh.

Then, balik, Tim asked me to teman him to basketball court, I said okay. He closed my eyes with his..his..DIRTY BOY HANDS, ish. Made me walk blindly over drains and cracked cement all the way to the Form Four block, into Farah's class (I don't remember what class are you ! 4H eh ?) where Razman played Hero. LOL. Was so sweeeet. Naim gemok cameeee. He baked me a flipping cake weyhhh. But it was all melted, but it was so sweet, I think I got diabetes dah by now =.= WOW, that day was beautiful weyhh =DD Thanks. Technically, I got three cakes, another from my mum =) No wonder I'm so fat. Thanks everyone, so so so much, really for every single detail and thought you put in to make it one of the most special and wonderrful days of my life =) Btw, D, I malas nak upload photos, besides you know what my prezs are kan ?

The next day, I met Nas outside school. She is STILL the same old Nas. Some people don't change huh ? Still giggly and loud ! My bestie in standard 4, always will be.

As of now, I am officially NOT watching Angels and Demons dah. Penat watching it so many times though twice isn't many, but still, it's more than one, so it's many to me ! Night at the Museum 2 was tremendously funny in a silly and illogical way =)

This is so weird, but Qamarul, thanks for not telling on me, really, meant the world to me.

Oh, went out with the 'class bawah' people as me and Jaarvis call them =) My gosh, was so bongokkk. Ushana paid for my lunch, HAH. Padan muka. Make me late for the movie some more. I was kinda concerned with Jaarvis not turning up in the pictures we took, heee ;p

Tim sang The Scientist on Friday for Teacher's Day. Ironic song, really. I wonder why you chose that, hmm ? Was wonderful okayh ? You did great, as always. Stop wasting time being nervous can or not ? You're great or if not I would just say you're a sucky singer, me being the straight-to-the-point kind of person. No beating around the semak-samun tau.

Went Pavi for Na's birthday yesterday. Me, Arda, Aisya, Syia and Na. Syaa can't come, so yeah. Was nice to walk around lah, really, but I think I've been to Pavi too often in one month.

I hope Prom Committee/Communittee goes well from here onwards =) No inner conflict, really. I could use a little less drama at this time in my life.

Talked to Wayne Yeang Wei Yang yesterday. I'm amazed he tegur-ed me. He never changed, of course, irritating as always and as self-absorbed as ANYONE can get. I'm surprised his gigantic house can fit his even BIGGER ego =.= Was nice, but irritating though. I'm glad we're okay now, Wayne. Thanks for your er, 'advice'. I will be kurus okayh ? We'll see who gained more weight, hmph !

Oh,
2nd May ; Happy birthdaaaay, Serene and Harinderrr !
4th May ; Heeee, am seventeen forever eh, Jo ?
5th May ; Liyanaaa, happy birthday !
21st May ; Aisyaaaa, happy birthday, darling ! You know I love you, my bestie plus sis in one ~ You rock (sort of), hee. Happy birthdaaay, Aidiiiiillll ! I bet you thought I forgot when actually I don't have your number and you don't have a cbox =.=
22nd May ; Wooot ! My favourite Lee's birthday kan, Tim ? Guess whose ? ;pp
23rd May ; Happy birthdayyy, Azrill !
26th May ; Happy birthdayyy, Qiiiist ! Celebrate sampai kat Kelantan pergi =)
27th May ; Jasmiiiiiiiiiiinnnooooss, Happy birthday, gendut ! Adam comeeeellll ~ ;p
30th May ; Na, happy birthdaaaay ~
31st May; Happy birthday, Izzatiiiii ! Tak nampak ko kat kelas pon tadi owh.

WOAH, that's a LOT of birthdays. Haihh. Us May-ans, we rock eh ?

Anyway, it's a two-week holiday for us kanak-kanak riang yang masih bersekolah. Never long enough, I always say. Ruined by Chew's extra Physics class which is 4 days long, in other words like THIRTEEN HOURS of dang physics to pull through. I told Pn. Chew that I'm suicidal cos of her classes and she started her standard lecture with 'Stefiraaaaaaaaaaaa'. She loves saying it really long, sumpah funny. I like kacau-ing her. Got Prom stuff to settle too, studying to do, sleeping to do, NO eating to do, reading to do, TOLD YOU IT ISN'T ENOUGH.

Arda told me her MUM reads my blog, I got so freaked out, still am actually. Aunty, if you are reading this which I hope you aren't, please understand that all characters and situations and circumstances in this blog are kinda fictitious and any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental =))) HEEE. Btw, Arda, bully Hafiz for me cos he made me stuck with that MJ song =.= penat tau.

Afiq, you can't sing even if it's in the shower =.= Takde talent kan budak-budak VI ? ;p

D, you know you have me okayh ? Any time =)

Arda, always here faham ?! We will make it, in time =)

Farah, Happy Bali-inggg ! P.s. Karin, Bali is in Indonesia, harap maklum.

Naim, I'm sorry okayh ? Really.

Tim, I don't have to say it, do I ?

So,
Me : Selll, you know that saying ; dengar guruh di langit, hujan di ........ dicurahkan ? What's the word ? I can't recall right now.
Selll : *ponders into distant space* I know, hujan di baldi eh ?

=.= No comment.

I miss laughing my heart out, for real, sincerely.

So first off,

Happpppyyyyy Birthdaaaaayyyy, Jaaarviiiisssss ! I've known you for FIVE years weyh, banggafied. Who knew you'd end up being Head Prefect/Boy. Sheesh, you certainly aren't like the other Head Boys =) That was a compliment btw. The senior-est of all eh ? ;p

Happpppppyyyyy Birthhdaaaaaaaayyyy, Sellllll ~ You're OLD ! HAH. Your prez delayed a bit eh ? I tak keluar anywhere, busy STUDYING SEJARAH you know =DD Sayang you =) Stop trying to seduce me with your 'sexiness'. Geli lah weyh.

Rubaaaaaaaaayy, happppppyyy birthdaaaayyyy, sweetie ! Dah seventeen like my darling Edward nampak ;p Ini sudah melampaui batas, harap maklum ya ? =D

So many birthdays, so little time. Everyone is SO busy, got this to lah, that to do lah, all sorts. Penat.

I'm honestly, the very the penat of being the way I am right now, sumpah, gotta stop it, am trying at this very moment as I type. I refuse to remain this way, to feel this way, to BE this way any longer. I've done my best, I've tried my best, I've given my all and everything like never before for ANYTHING or ANYONE else, not even for David Archuleta =) I understand your situation and maybe a slight inkling of the confusion and messed up-ness you're feeling and going through right now. I thought I could help you through it, I swear, I still want to, but I realise that maybe I am one of the reasons you get upset because I keep on doing or saying something wrong, so I'm more careful now times ten. I'm always here, you above all people should know that better lah kan. I'm sorry for everything, really am. You have always made me happy, you never failed, you are the best =D ilysmtlzya. iwamy. <333

To someone(s), I'm SO sorry I caused you to cry, I mean, you cried because of me, because I was sad, I never knew that seeing me cry and unhappy would make YOU unhappy as well, now I know, thank you sangat-sangat. It means the whole wide world to me, I won't forget you okayh ? =) Thanks for being there when I need you, seriously.

Anyway, Monday to Wednesday last week was INTERVENSI 2. When we got our Physics paper today, Pn Chew was nagging us about how we didn't do well and whatnot and there were a few copycats among us. I don't get it. It's INTERVENSI LAHHHHHHHHHH ~ aiyoh, darn mah fan lah you. Then, Thursday the Choir and Culture Club thingy held this Busking for Change thingamajig where people performed in exhange for donations for the people of Gaza. Tim, Patrick and Kee performed on Thursday, a whole bunch of other people did too =D SAB-ians are so semangated ! Tim tried to keep the songs secret, but me being the all-knowing Stefira Marzuki korek-ed everything out. Heeee. Thanks for the song, Tim, you sang wonderfully, like you always always do. Stop wasting time being nervous next time you perform boleh tak ? Penat tau. I'm sorry about the I-went-missing case, guys, seriously. I was REALLY just at the bus stop, waiting to go home, but my mum being the ultra-super duper paranoid and caring mother that she is, called the whole world to ask where I was =.= She didn't look all excited when I got home at 7.30 pm either, hee. Am looking at blogskins, contemplating changing my blogskin, but i'm so in love with this one still, so snappos then ! ;p

Jo, Adam is a sweet guy, depsite his tendency to be you-know-what ;p Can't say it nanti he'll stop talking to me, the bugger. But what we found out about each other was freakaaaayyyy.

Naim, you make amazing cookies, and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm friends with you cos of the cookies or the friendship itself. Heee, kidding lah. Weyh, penat, yeah, I did use your phrase, but SO WHAT ?!?!? You tak copyright, I did that already, the phrases are mine, boo yahs. Btw, thanks to you I annoyed Aisya by singing Dead and Gone punya bridge je keje. The oddest thing is, you HAFALED that part ! You pernh tell me, you're a hummer, not much of a hafaler, like me. =DDD

Logaaaaannnn, I don't know who you are exactly cos I haven't met you, not sure I ever will, but that wasn't funny. I got a heart attack cos of what you did tau ? ;'( Seriously weyh. I was DEAD WORRIED AND SCARED dah. Ish. But I know you're a nice guy and you tak saja want me to die kan ? Hee.

Nicholas, I'm scared speechless =))

Ushana, go cut your hair lah, then can pacak your hair properly !! MAYBE you can go up a few levels kan.

Aisya, I like it when you have flu, jadi sengau ! Like meeeee ~

Afiq, sumpah penat nak cakap dengan budak import dari VI pastuh nak bajet jadik Edward Cullen, please lah, STOP IT. You're killing our brain cells here, sheesh. I mean, you're insulting Edward, dude, seriously.

Xin Yi, thank you so much okayhhh ? For all the talks and inside POV of the guy's mind, which isn't very clean, I must say. ;pp

Krishnaaaa, you toooooo. =)

Every single day nowadays is so unpredictable, I'm tired of it. But what the heck.

Aimi, Nadira, Namira, Dini, Phoebe, Sara, Hafiz, my fav juniors ! =)

Oh, I've realised, Tim's dad is kinda cool ! In a fatherly way, of course. Heeeee.

My beloved mum : Oh, so Tim's dad sold the karaoke lah ?
Me : Huh ? What karaoke ?
My mum : The Jeep lah, he sold it ke ?
Me : =.= Meh, it's CHE-RO-KEE, not karaoke. Penat lahhhh.

Haihh. My mother, so much like me yet, so different =D <333>

Yeah, tau dah lama tak update. Haven't been in my blogging mood recently, everyone knows that (sort of) :)

Chow Hoo Keen, I am so superly gila babengfied sorry that I didn't like wish you HERE, so ;
Happpyyy Birthdaaaaayyy, CHOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW !! No Kenny-Kenny with me, seriously ;p

So a whole bunch of crap and uncrap has happened in my er, un-blogging-sence. I went to this year's Merentas Desa, no Larian Sabian crap like last year =.= ridiculous weyh last year's ! I told Farahee and Ardadong I would 'run' / brisk walk with them throughout the whole thing, but I ACCIDENTALLY left them behind. I'm SORRY ! I never meant to run you know ? I just ter-run ? ;) Boy, was Farah annoyed. Sorry, yeah sis ? :D I hated lagu One in a Million since that day, they kept on playing that song during warm ups, nightmarous man.

Then, Hari Sukaaaannn ! Dang, got up REALLLY early cos Naim mengada nak go at the exact time, but we somehow ended up being late jugak, I forgot why. Glad I was late anyway, malas awal-awal. I think I was nervous-er than Tim when it was his acaras to run, you know. Afiq was like,'Stef, jangan risau lah, dia okay nanti'. Gee, thanks, dudee. Afiq bongok, him being a Syahbandarian, sat with us Temenggungs started insulting a Temenggung runner, all the guys were like gonna gang up and bash him already. Sheesh, not a smart move to insult us you know ? Btw, Afiq, I am seriously allergic to you. My nose gets itchy when you're near dowh ! Be like Aisya, a Bendahara-ian, sat with Temenggungs and CHEERED the Temenggungs onnnnn ~ When I said she was a traitor, she just shut me up with a smart comeback which was ; Masuk kandang lembu menguak, masuk kandang kambing mengembek ;) Smart girl ! Temenggung got NAIB JOHANNN ! wheee :) banggafied. I bet Amirul penat nak kena bangun every time nak ambek pingat owh.

Next, DAVID FREAKING ARCHULETA WAS IN FREAKING MALAYSIA WEYH ! I mean, the guy I am so obsessed with, the reason I breathe, the reason I wake up, the reason for everything I do was here, breathing the same Malaysian air as I was, I couldn't believe it. And NO, I did not go for his showcase =.= can everyone stop asking me that ? It hurts me everytime, you know ? :( Him in a green baju melayu was HEAVENLY, so angelic. (Arda, I found a reason to like green now ; for DAVID !) I felt like dying. When I saw his picture in StarTwo that day, I grabbed it, kept it, and let NO ONE read it for whatever reason. It's sacred okaayh ? I smile just looking at it. HEEEE.

For some people, my friends, whom I know are going through quite some not-so-very-good times as well, hang in there okayh ? Everything will really be all right. It will turn out fine. To some, thank you for being there for me too, you know. I needed it, so very much. It helped. Still does actually.

Nas, I swear, it is absolutely lovely to be remembered my you :D :D :D I won't forget you ever, you know ?

Tim : Stef, I got 5 bucks free ! YAY ! I think it's my lucky day :D
Me : I top up-ed for you lah, smart. Ish.
Tim : Oh, I see. Sorry la. I thought it was money from heaven.

=.= Penat :DDD <3

Am re-reading Twilight. I've gotta stop awwh-ing at the book when I'm in public weyh ;p
The book is SO corny, I swear. I'm still waiting for my Edward, or maybe I found him ?

Oh, yeah, I agree with Syams that Avril's version of I Will Be is better. Leona Lewis sings like she has some breathing complications, penat. It's such a beautiful song lah. I keep on getting bored of songs nowadays. Can't find a song to be obsessed with, I don't know why. Arghhh.

I hope every day gets better now, please, I can't do this much longer dah. Good luck with Intervensi, wahai SPM-ians and PMR-ians !

The Hi-hello-how-are-you?'s.

The I'm-fine-and-you?'s.
The slight nod of the head.

The threads that bind you to everyone else.
It's coded language for a constant reassurance.
"I'm alive. You're alive too."